Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Keys to a happy relationship

This is a passage written by the Author of "What not to say to your girlfriend", taken from the myspace blog of MF Douche the one man Taliban. It was just brought to my attention and I want to share it with my non myspace friends enjoy...

the following is sheer boredom and im sure it will help some of you, i mean most of you people out there in cyberspace are retarded...

first off dont call your girlfriend dumb they hate that shit. chances are she is dumb anyway if shes with you tho

second dont tell her about anything to do with another woman (unless you want to deny wanting to bang her for the next six months)

try not to let her find pictures of you and your friends hog tying hoes and plugging there holes with your bros, keep it simple put those pics at the end of the naked picture stack if shes that desperate to hate you she needs to see it anyway

when you know you are right give up the fight drink a beer and go take your frustrations out on her next time you are waxing that ass

make sure you are not a pussy! dont always be all baby i love you, that bullshit doesnt last nor does it make a heathy relationship

make sure you got money I dont care if that bitch is loaded noone NOONE LIKES A BROKE ASS!!!!

when you fuck up so bad that sorry wont cut it dont say sorry, just be like bitch I owe you one!

gotta get off enough if your lovers prude or just dosnt like sex get porno and beat off to a bitch that has the same body and dont look that slut in the eyes or your done for. your girlfriend will definetly be able to tell if you looked in a whores eyes

make sure theres enough sex in the mouth too noone likes not getting head and if you dont fuck you and if you dont give head you will never be happily married at least not to me, im not no headless whoreman.

make sure that head isnt like few and far between there should be no Specialness of getting a fuvking blowjob what the fuck are we in high school i mean i still get all giddy knowing im gonna get my dick sucked but it aint like im begging for a week

which brings us to... people keep some fucking pride dont let that bitch pis you off all the time if your pissed air it out, ladies do the same jsut watch out some guys are fags

make sure that fetish needs are met... you gotta be able to do all kinds of shit even ass to mouth, yes i know its no big deal for a whore like me but you all are squemish so get your sluttiness up

for you cheating motherfuckers (not advised girls fuck your lives up when shits off the fan) anyway if you must cheat...
1 use a condom thats what i think they were made for actually
2 make sure that bitch is slamming cus if that bitch is ugly you will hear you cheated n me with trash, and thats not really baller!! thats like buying a mecedes and putting a fucking my other car is a zamboni sticker on it
3 make sure you get head cus if your cheating you might as well get the royal treatment
4 treat that girl, guy or animal like a whore. chances are if you are cheating its cus your girl dont do something you want...

I gotta admit I just lol'ed like 6 times!

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